Eager to find the perfect man, the perfect job, in 1998 Jennifer Beth Cohen saw the opportunity to combine passionate romance with a passionate career. She jumped at it. Headlong.

Dispatched to Russia to produce a TV tabloid exposé on the international sex trade, Cohen reconnected with Kevin Dillard, a college acquaintance whom she hadn't seen since 1992. They had met the final semester of Cohen's senior year, two Russophiles in a cozy independent seminar. As they pored over and pondered the great works of Russian literature, the two formed a spirited bond.

Their flirtations confined within a fleeting friendship, Cohen's dormant interest in Dillard was dramatically revived six years later when she found herself looking for a production assistant in St. Petersburg. Through one form or another, Cohen, who lived in New York, had kept apprised of Dillard's professional and geographic whereabouts; she figured his various connections as a Russian news correspondent would prove useful in the trafficking piece.

Jennifer Cohen [excerpt from Lying Together]  "I would be dishonest if I said that when I first contacted him, it was only about work. A part of me, a very conscious part (the looking for love part), was curious to check in on his marital status, his emotional status, his potentially latent interest in me. I could have chosen to hire any number of journalists I knew in Russia. I chose Kevin."

She e-mailed him the 20th of January. He replied, immediately. Within an hour Dillard was disclosing a scandalous "tip" implicating a high-level State Department official in alleged escapades with a Russian prostitute. He promised a pilfered credit card receipt as evidence. Cohen was hooked, turned on by the "potent aphrodisiac" of her erstwhile classmate's "journalistic prowess."

She flies to St. Petersburg. Within weeks she's quit her job in New York, they've moved in together in a dreary Moscow flat. He proposes marriage. She accepts. They set a date: October 31st, Halloween.

When that date arrives Cohen is flying home to New York, an incontinent cat in tow. Her relationship, like the fragile Russian economy, has collapsed. Dillard's ongoing bout with alcohol and depressants has turned violent, self-destructive. Cohen is only visiting New York, too fearful of the reactions of friends to move back.

Jennifer Cohen [from Lying Together]  "I imagine walking down Broadway and bumping into an old friend; I imagine that typical "what's up?" conversation, and I know I can't face it. I can't face the people who will say, "I told you so." I can't give them the satisfaction. Or maybe I just don't want to admit that they were right. I want to believe that I did the right thing, chasing my fantasy, chasing this unknown."

Lacking a support network and unable to find a psychiatrist in Moscow, Cohen began to recount her turbulent Russian romance in the pages of a diary. She soon recognized the literary potential of her diary meditations and began preparing a manuscript.

Eventually Cohen moved back to Manhattan, joined a writing group, turned out fresh drafts and countless revisions for the better part of a year.

Writing group moderator Victoria Rowan:

"She was absolutely committed to this as a story that she needed to get out and wanted to get out and felt had value, and she was absolutely disciplined and committed about it. You know, she made more classes than other people who were doing less things in their life. You know, she just really was dedicated."

Cohen impressed literary agent Stephanie Kip Rostan with that same drive and determination. Rostan had just made the move from publishing house editor to agent. She took on Cohen as one of her very first clients.

Stephanie Kip Rostan   "I believed in the book from the beginning, but she was completely committed to it from the beginning, no matter what it took.

"She was always willing to do whatever she could to get the book published. First of all, she did these endless, endless revisions that I asked of her. She took a lot of criticism and worked really hard.

"The second part of that is the actual process of selling it, which we started out — we must have gone through three or four rounds of submission. There was some revision in between. She came very close a number of times."

Rostan shopped the manuscript to publishing houses large and small. The rejection letters piled up.

Stephanie Kip Rostan   "Normally an author who had an experience like Jen, where we sent it out, sent it out again, they revised, they revised, they revised — normally they would give up. They would say, okay, I'm going to work on a new book. But with Jen she was just like keep going."

Around this time, Cohen reconnected with Michael Oko, a family friend with whom she'd spent a lost afternoon in Paris — adrift on a city bus as a teenager. As adults they had both become involved in television, Cohen working as a network news producer, Oko producing commercials and documentaries.

Cohen ran into Oko's mother at a flea market. They talked. Mrs. Oko mentioned her son, her single son, who happened to be between jobs. Cohen contacted Oko, on a strictly professional basis. She didn't find him a job, but they started dating. Soon they were engaged.

Michael Oko:

"I think every relationship, the person that you're going out with tells you about past relationships. And it was pretty interesting in this case to not only be told about the past relationship but then to be told that she was actually writing a book about the past relationship, and so that definitely put a certain spin on things.

Michael Oko

"But when Jen and I first started dating, which was a couple years ago, she had actually finished writing the book and she was trying to get it sold. And actually, any time I would ask her about the book, I could just say, 'How's the book going?,' and suddenly she would well up with tears and just couldn't even speak.

"The book business is a tough one; so you go from writing a book and finishing it and feeling very good about it to then getting an agent and trying to get it sold. And that's a difficult process to go through."

After the wide-distribution houses passed on the book, Cohen and Rostan focused their efforts on selling the manuscript to small and university presses.

Stephanie Kip Rostan   "You know, being published by a small press she was totally open to. As I said, she just wanted it published. But it was important to her to do it with some legitimacy and with somebody who was, you know, serious about it and it would be 'reviewable,' and something she would feel proud of. So University of Wisconsin was a great — turned out to be a great place for her, because they're small but they do have that prestige; they do get a lot of books reviewed."

Based in Madison, Wisconsin, the University of Wisconsin Press has been in the publishing business since 1936, issuing its first title a year later. Today the press has 1,400 titles in print, publishing and distributing more than 100 new books every year.

As Press acquisitions editor Raphael Kadushin paged through Cohen's manuscript in the spring of 2002, he quickly recognized its potential as a "trade," or general audience, release. Kadushin contacted Cohen. She had sold the book.

Jennifer Cohen:

"It's interesting as a writer looking at the market out there and knowing that big presses don't publish good books that often. I mean, they publish marketable books, and it's really important that university presses and small presses are doing trade, doing memoirs and fiction and things that wouldn't normally be a university publication, because otherwise some really fine literature won't get published, period."

Janet Leissner (introducing the author at the book launch)  "The first reviews are in — the San Francisco Chronicle, right? — and it's a rave review." (Applause.)

Jennifer Cohen   "When I told Janet I had written the book and she said, "Oh, we have to throw you a party," I had no idea that this is what — I thought she meant she'd have some people over to her house for a little wine or something. I was just so blown away.

Janet Leissner, Jennifer Cohen & Michael Oko

"And it's interesting how people react. I mean, it's, I guess, a really big deal to write a book, and maybe when you're in the process of doing it it somehow stops seeming like such a big deal."

On a warm night in mid-September 2004, the author's family, friends and colleagues turned out at the Russia House cocktail lounge in Washington D.C., where Cohen now lives with husband Michael Oko, to launch Lying Together in style.

Jennifer Cohen   "The people who showed up at the party were all invited. And it was a mix; it was a mix of people from the CBS news bureau, some of whom I know very well and some who I don't, you know, I pass in the halls. I don't know, maybe they heard there was free vodka, but it was still very nice that they came." (Laughs.)

Cohen's mother came down from New York City; her aunt surprised her by coming down from Vermont. Old friends and new friends gathered to mark the official release of Cohen's memoir.

Jennifer Cohen (speaking at the launch party)   "For actors, it's the Academy Awards; that's the big dream, right? And for writers, I think it's the book party. (Laughter.) And I don't think I could have ever wished for something this wonderful to happen."

* * *

Ari Goldman   "She was always a romantic. I remember her as being in love all the time."

Columbia University journalism professor Ari Goldman: "In the most wonderful way she is ready for adventure of all kinds — romantic, travel. She's willing to take the plunge."

Ari Goldman

* * *

 

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© 2005
Stephen Andrew Miles